Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
