There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
