Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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