dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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