I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
