oh god the rape fog is back!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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