Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
porn star boner night. come get it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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