you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
