just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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