I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
