Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
