I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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