dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
