Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
