yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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