Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
