friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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