Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
