My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
