i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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