Yo dont text me then not text me
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
