I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
