Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
