My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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