do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
