oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So squirting runs in the family.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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