It was confusing and full of hummus
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
