I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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