Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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