I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
