the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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