The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
