Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
