TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The beer is more important than you right now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
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