I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize