It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
