You just made me feel so damn special
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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