I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize