Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
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