Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
