I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
