When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
