I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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