just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
