Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
