So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
