we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
