I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
A+ Viking dick
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
