I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
