my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
