Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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