You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
