I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
