thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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